Handbags, and women, and handbags

Yesterday I was in an elevator and I fixated on this woman's giant, leather, fake Gucci handbag. And I tried to understand it.

What was in there? I. just. never. understood. purses.

Then later, I was leafing through a glossy magazine. And again, all those ads for handbags. A lot of handbags... giant purses held in front of skinny legs. Purses, glowing like magical talismans. Purses glinting in the sun.

What kind of power do handbags have over us?

We all know the analogy of a purse as a woman's girl parts, right? Handbags don't speak to men. They speak to other women. In a power language that only other women understand.

Work with me here:

So why not blow 10k on some kind of big ass, super expensive Italian handbag? It's like saying: "my #*%& is more expensive than yours..." Fair enough. It probably is.

But how do you extend that analogy to the fake Gucci handbag? Compared to the real deal, a fake Gucci handbag is pragmatic. But it's also a fantasy object.

And this is where I stop, because I still don't understand purses. And I feel mean, for wanting to deconstruct another woman's handbag. Sorry.